UPDATE: This is my old website, please go to kyriaabrahamsphoto.com for the most recent information.
Books. How did they get here? Do books, like humans, have a divine maker? Or did they - as many scientists and theologians would have us believe - appear as part of a "cosmic book stew" before the dawn of time? Did a "Big Bang" cause paper to evolve page numbers and a binding? Can a book write its own words? If so, how would it know what to say?
We know that books such as The Satanic Verses and Harry Potter have caused millions of children worldwide to become possessed by Satan. Does this mean that true Christians should not read books? Let's see what the bible has to say about that:
“And Judas begat Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares begat Esrom; and Esrom begat Aram; And Aram begat Aminadab; and Aminadab begat Naasson; and Naasson begat Salmon; And Salmon begat Booz of Rachab; and Booz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed begat Jesse.”
What does that tell you? Don't eat salmon unless you want to get drunk with Jesse!
Here is another exercise: hold a heavy book in your hands, such as I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales From A Jehovah's Witness Upbringing. Does not it appear to be grand in design? Do the words seem edited, or are they a nonsensical string of random letters, numbers and symbols? Despite what "science" wants you to believe, these words have been edited - probably by a smart, young Christian with a superior home-schooled education!
Ask yourself: how could something so well-crafted and hilarious appear in your hands by accident?
Turn the book so the binding faces up towards you. Can you read the words on the binding? Do they say Simon & Schuster? Yes! Just as we know for a fact that the world was formed by God's breath moving upon the waters and that women were created from ribs, we can be assured that books come from editors, proofreaders, factories and printing presses! This book does have a maker!
So, now that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a Simon & Schuster, what can we do to show our gratitude at receving His beautiful gift of books?
One way is through prayer and supplication. Before each meal, let us give thanks to Simon & Schuster for the heavenly privilege of reading books, especially books such as I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales From A Jehovah's Witness Upbringing. And let us buy many copies as Christmas and birthday presents, because that would sure be ironic.
Thank you, Simon & Schuster! Thank you for bringing books into this world! Soon, you will thwart our enemies and kill all the Jews and Muslims (Wait - am I supposed to tell that to people? Have your legal team contact me!)! Halelujah!